2017 to 2018 worse or best!

Well, here comes 2017 after 3 years of hardship at University, my life get worse. I take up PGCE course which is so hard, well hard is an understatement to be honest.

Great 2017 has made my life miserable and now what is up to 2018? I do not think it can take anything away from me, because I got nothing left in me. Muhahaha

Well, lets just say 2017 has been a worse year for me, I am not hoping any best for 2018 anyways.

My placement at college is not that great I studied Finance and Accounting while I get to teach Marketing, good luck with that one!

Looks like a loop of circle of misery sucks me deep inside every year. Well 2017 beats it all. I ended up getting 2:1, PGCE admission, figured out that my sisters hate me, got worse and worse over a period now we are not talking to each other. I live with my partner whose mother is chasing me with her gun every opportunity she gets to strike me down. On top of that I have weight issues, I am putting on weight so easily sizing to my stress. I was size 10, then between 10 to 12. Now I wont even fit into size 12 in just over a year! I go to gym at least three days a week. Well, it get worse, I have fibroid and suffer from pain. I am loosing lot of hair and got black eyes already.

It will come a day where I do not have to deal with lots of problems together.

Now  life is challenging me to keep my head up facing all these challenges and still keep going.

Yes, I am going no matter what life throws at me. I am just a soldier who is following instructions given by my instructor. I have no control over my life, but all I tell myself is just live another day tomorrow might be better. I am still awaiting for tomorrow. Everything passes nothing stays permanent, it is just a matter of time. It can be 10 years from now or 20 years from now. 

Will-power or human development?

What's human development?
All human beings can have two commendable aspirations.
One is worldly prosperity  and well being. Second is  spiritual illumination and freedom. Of these both righteousness is said to be the basis crumbles down sooner than feared due to internal haemorrhage, so to say.
Of course, with spiritual illumination one cannot think of being righteous.

Worldly prosperity is not directed and subordinated to and utilised for attaining spiritual illumination, it becomes self destructive. However it's is not logical development through empty stomach like fasting or extensive prayers or giving away sleep, punishing oneself is no good for any religion.

Who doesn't want success in life?
Whatever maybe our under takings in the direction of worldly prosperity or spiritual illumination, none of is likes to fail. We all want to succeed, we all desire it will be noticed in various spheres of life, truly successful people are only handful. Many are those who attain only moderate degree of success, and many more just fail.

There will be various factors in the stories of successful people and failures of life. The degree of person's success in life is commensurate with the degree of will-power they have attained. Will-power is most important fundamental issue of everyone's life. It should be the part of our education from our childhood to be trained in developing the will-power instead of carrying loads of book to the school, struggling hard to maintain being topper for the class, most of the children of this generation grow up under stress to be able to impress their teachers, parents, sibling and friends. Without will-power education remains largely ineffective.

What is this education? Is it book-learning? Doing lot of assignments, home works, project work, following a rhythmic flow followed at the school? Is it diverse knowledge?
The training by which expression of will  brought under control and become fruitful is called education. Education as a result of which the will being continuously choked by force through generation is now well-nigh killed out. Is that education which sways even the old ideas, new ones are disappearing one by one; is education which is slowly making man a machine? I think education spoiled me, I do not know who am I, what am I, what do I want? I am so confused and trying my best to practice will-power at my mid-age.

Unfortunately we have not learnt how to develop will-power early in life, we should do so at any stage of life because self-improvement is almost impossible without voluntary or involuntary exercise.
Consider these three cases of modern history. When Lincoln was alone with history in the White House in those dark days of civil war, what would have happened to the Union but for his powerful will to save it? Consider how the will-power of Winston Churchill played the decisive role in the Second World War. What would have happened to the England and Europe now enjoying prosperity but for the man's will who said he had nothing else to offer but blood, sweat and tears? Consider the effect of will-power of Gandhiji, for all the people in the world who in their own lands were rules by colonial powers?

Many of them once in bad shape and afterwards were found to rise from shambles in a spectacular  manner.
 Given the will-power people makes everything out of nothing as it were. In the absence of the will-power, all their talents, qualities and endowments come to nothing..nothing.

Character Constant

Its said that character can achieve everything! I was inspired about this topic when I visited Ramakrishna ashram and picked up handful of books in the ultimate sale they were offering!

Its said that there are several disciplines for building character which can be knowingly cultivated

when I was reading these tiny books, I was totally inspired and kept me going for couple of days!

For self development one needs to put in continuous effort to make it work.

Granted enough character, our friends will be more powerful than our enemies, peace more than war, healing more than killing. Granted enough character, our trains will run on time :) factories will produce more goods than expected, fields will yield more crop than expected. Granted enough character, our dams will hold floods, our bridges

BIG BIRD THINKING

When there is a severe storm, birds with small wings are caught up in it, but large birds with strong wings fly upwards and save themselves from becoming victims of the storm.
On the basis of this phenomenon, there is a saying in the English language: “Big birds of the storm.” This applies to people of high thinking, to those who can save themselves from the environmental storm. That is, they can live on their own without becoming affected by the external world.
Who are the ‘big birds’ of the storm? They are the ‘big bird thinkers’, who can live independently, drawing on their own mental resources. Big bird thinkers are those who do not become angry even when provoked. They are those who maintain their positivity even in negative situations, who can control their thoughts in such a way that they can see all men and women as human beings, whether friends or foes, and who can keep the peace even if others turn violent.
‘Big bird thinkers’ are those who are so mature that nothing can distract them from their objectives, who give well-considered responses when in adverse situations, rather than simply indulging in an emotional backlash.

There is a saying in Hindi “Kutte bhonkte rehte hain aur hathi chalta rehta hai’’– the elephant walks on without being disturbed by barking dogs. This is the best illustration of one who has the capacity for ‘big bird thinking’. Life is full of storms, full of barking, full of untoward situations – these things are due to the laws of nature and no one is in a position to abolish the laws of nature. So, you have only two options: either to waste your time and energy by constantly stooping to reactionary behaviour or to ignore all undesirable situations and try to live like the elephant in the adage. Elephant-style living is the only successful way to live in this world.

‘Big bird thinking’ is only another name for spiritual thinking. Spirituality is not something mysterious: it is positive thinking. All spiritual people are positive thinkers and all positive thinkers are spiritual in nature. Spirituality and positive thinking are almost synonymous with each other. They never react to the situation, pretty much have control over the situation and very well composed about their reaction... Totally contradictory behavior for Newtons third law...for every action there is equal and opposite reaction, they prove this theory wrong :)

There is a beautiful story in Hindu mythology: Once a man became furious and he kicked Ram in the chest. Ram’s response was quite unique. He said: ‘‘Mere lokhan seene se tumhare komal paunwen ko chot to nahi lagi?”– I hope your soft leg was not hurt by my iron chest.
Spiritual behaviour is friendly behaviour towards every human being -- to both friends and foes alike. Spiritual behaviour is like the behaviour of flowers that can live with all their fragrance in the neighbourhood of thorns.

Spirituality is good for the allround development of the individual’s personality, for it makes you free of tension and friendly towards all. Spirituality is the way to all kind of success. Positive thinking makes you a ‘big bird thinker’ and ‘big bird thinking’ imbues the human character with spirituality. Although this is an inner quality, it is this inner quality that has the power to better all your external affairs.

Just to Rap!!

Tonight is really quite and calm, gazing into deep sky...hardly any stars twinkling due to heavy cloudy clustering....

Insects buzzing around making hauting sound and  hushing air trying to hiss something in your ears.... as my windows are open and can smell scented flowers from small garden at back yard, gets my nurturing time to time.... I love this climate, not too hot and not too chill... nice breeze which makes you feel like wrapping duppatta around you and circling like old Hindi movies :)))))

Its almost mid - night now... Just wanted to share

how nice it feels...

how nice it feels...

when you are singing song tapping your heals....

My heart if full of praise

You can give a rise

I would like to have a rice

with bread, butter and fries

Stairs...DownStairs :)

I had a heart throbbing experience :) I would love to share it in my blog:) I work between 12 PM -9PM, later they changed my time to 11.30 AM to 8.30PM, since the building gets isolated after 8.30 PM

I work in the Government Building and we are at 19th floor, I restrict using the name of our building, since its one of the popular building in Bangalore, by the way lift stops working at sharp 9 PM , if you slip taking a look at your watch before 9 and don't wind up and pack your bags, you have to take stairs from19th floors with no lights :-)

I was one amonst  many I guess to take stairs, whistling or hummina an usual song to keep your mind occupied. I slipped on running away at sharp 9 PM and thought anyways I missed the lift, rammed my mind focussing to complete my tasks started winding up closer to 10 PM. I said good bye to few of my colleagues who just started working in the night shift at 9PM teasing them to be up all night whilst I get back partying and started towards the stairs. I just turn back to take a look at company logo at the main entrance,  it was shimmering......and went close to take a look at it and it seemed to be alright hanging in there... I thought my eyes were stressed.. probably.

I started tapping my heels on the stairs, like a tap dancer :) as my heels breaking sharp noise....I started humming a song Zombie...Its in your mind....zombie...aah hoo...aah..hooo......I started feeling exhausted as the stair never seemed to be ending at all,....when I saw last was 14th floor.....I came to 13th floor, that floor was a kind of smelling musty.....as if its not dusted for ages...painted in rusted blue and 13 floor painted in BOLD RED! and I thought of devils number, smirked looking at it and started down...and I completed 13th and next is suppose to be 12th right!!nahh...its 13 again!! i got confused same floor, same color and same rusty smell....my stomach started felling sick.....I brushed my hair and rubbed my eyes as If I am dreaming and started going down again....its same floor 13 again... I started running and its 13 again....looks like 13th floor is never ending!!! its almost 6 times....and I dont seem to be coming out of 13th floor...Like somebody programmed and kept me in loop at 13th floor.... started climbing up....so that I go back to work...and again I go to 13th floor.....I was lil panicked and started dialling office number... network is dead....I felt like trapped....

I heard weird whispers coming close to me with loud breath.....I started singing aloud and started chanting hanuman chalis....closed my eyes and started getting down the stairs...I was totally trapped...and i gathered little courage and stood on 13th floor and opened the glass, to seek for someone help....I could see popular Mall opposite, all lights are off and I check the time in my watch its struck at 10 PM and entire city seems to be sleeping.....I was confused as what NEXT and I started walking towards the lift and luckily I hear my office boy whistle and there he joins me and says madam its 12 PM what are you doing here? I was startled with no answer.

My heart halted for while, I skipped a heart beat and did not bother to explain him anything, I just cooked up story that I got call and went on for long !! we started conversing and there you go!! I was on ground floor, I ensured that he stays with me till I start my bike which was parked in the basement, dropped him till the gate, city was really lively on Friday night....It was christmas eve and entire city was like bright and lights everywhere. I could not believe my own eyes!! I am not sure when I looked through the window from floor...No light and pitch dark, was there power cut that time? NO CLUE! Did I fell asleep and started dreaming while walking!! NO CLUE, did the 13 floor really repeated many times...NO CLUE :)

From The Speaking Tree

Is there a God – or not?

Whether i say ‘yes’ or ‘no’, it does not get you any closer to reality.
You believe there is God or you believe there is no God, you just believe something that you do not know. The problem is just this – you are unwilling to see that you actually do not know. Belief essentially means that you are assuming something that you do not know.
If you do not even know where Creation begins and where it ends, how do you know where the Creator is? If you do not even know the nature of yourself, how do you know the nature of the Creator? You just believe something that you have been culturally conditioned to believe. Believing and disbelieving are fundamentally not different; it is just believing in a positive way or believing in a negative way. This will not get us any closer to reality.

Belief systems started because you do not have any logical explanation for the nature of Creation, its extent, magnitude and magnificence. So, a simple child-like answer is, somebody is sitting up there and doing it. Because you are human, you think God is a big man.
We have assumed unnecessary significance about our existence here. Certain belief systems hold that the human being is created in the image of God. Such ideas have made humans show disregard for every other life form.

Until the Middle Ages, people were made to believe that the Earth was the centre of the universe, the most important place in existence. Later, scientists found that the Earth is not the centre of the universe, it is not even the centre of the solar system. Now we know that the solar system might eventually cease to exist. Compared to the cosmos, it will just be atiny empty space; nothing will be missed. So we should not assume too much importance to our existence. Existence is not humancentric – life and Creation is happening in more dimensions and ways than you can imagine. If you are experiencing only the physicality of Creation, you will not know the significance of life.

The very source of physical creation is also within you. Your body is created from inside, so is your mind. If you begin to experience yourself as the Creator, the very source of Creation, you will live your life magically. And then you are the centre of the universe. You can either exist here as just a piece of Creation, as just a bundle of flesh and bones, or you can exist here as the very Creator. This is the choice every human being has. The choice is yours because Creation and Creator both are right here, within you. There is Creation; obviously something created it – you as a person did not create it. Since your experience is always from the context of who you are, accordingly, you try to create images of the Creator. If you see these images as stepping stones for a higher possibility, it is perfectly OK.

You are alive, you are conscious. If you long to know and experience, now is the best time, not upon your deathbed. If you strive to transcend the limitations of the physical, the maker of the physical cannot be missed.
If your experience of life remains on the surface, you exist as a piece of Creation. Move to the core and you become the very source of Creation.

Real Personality

WHAT IS PERSONALITY?

Extraordinary brilliance, appearance, Stronger personalities will hold strong on the minds of people?

Its about mental dimension, I have been reading lots of book offlet and trying to dig deep within,

there are lots of mismatches. There are 2 minds to be identified about personality, Strong and Weak Mind.

Strong Mind!

* Remains calm even in adversities

* Never succumbs to temptations and develops courate to say NO to immoral thoughts and actions

* Clarity of thinking, right decision, right judgement

* Free from prejudice, suspicion and Jealousy

* Positive thinking, concentration, fearlessness, adventurous nature, self confidence

* Free from desire, anger, greed, fear, hatret.

Weak Mind!

*Gets irritated and loses temper over trifling matters and react violently

* Easily succumb to temptations, stealing, bribery.

* Confusion, suspicion, fails to take right decision, impartial judgement.

* Cannot face challenges

* Cheap actions, weeping, grumbling, do not appreciate good qualities in others.

* Restlessness, fear, tension, laziness, frustration, superstition, Negative thinking

____________________________________________________________________

Soo here comes the big confusion, (Are you also confused like me)I have solid mix and match of both, One has to transform towards strong mind, few are blessed with strong mind and few work hard.

I  have had little self realization offlet, that I have taken life loose a times and lost many incidents out of hand. I want to tighten loose ends now, When I look back and try to recollect(no baggages) just wanted to learn from my experiences , though good way to express or rename your mistakes as experience. I want to learn so that I dont have to repeat again, I find it little hard to change from being lazy to active person and take right decision. Ifeel so jealous about few people who are so blessed with positive thoughts, confident and taking right decision at right time.

Again Jealousy is weakmind, I keep wondering who Iam, what Iam

Our actions are the concrete forms of our thoughts, and we change our way of thinking to develop  positive ideas, a  thought is seed and to reap a positive thought which yields fruitful outcome. There has to be tremendous change in our conduct and behaviour, not to react quickly, stay calm and composed, how peaceful one could get :) this thought is really soothing for me :)

I have lots to write my good thoughts and good will here, rather discuss with myself would be better option for now....

Astala Vista

I feel about traffic...Bangalore

I was giving a thought recently about the traffic outburst in the city I got solution and want to share it with Government of Karnataka :P. Here you go!!

I loved flying planes, I wish I was a Pilot... I am planning to buy helicopter with A row of unravelled stitches and fly down pick up the employees and fly them to their destination and make big time money :) money starts pouring this time I would go for open Jet :) zoooooooooohhhhh and in couple of min IT employees wil be in their top floor getting dropped :) Avoiding headaches of traffic Jam, Accidents, brutal murders, bad roads, bad infrastructure..blah blah blah.... So anybody interested in my idea to provide you with great services... Hic Hoc...

This is my solution and contribution to the government of Karnataka...... Are you willing to share more ideas ???

Transformation

How would transformation take place in your life??

Transformation could be easy to anybody who explores themselves deep within and self realization a times strikes the skull hard. It happened once while gazing at deep blue sky, for all the sour thoughts and feelings like knots in your stomach, passing all old moments been pending for years now........why so late! realization, when it could have avoided lots of conflictions if would have striked at the right time. Human beings are so complex many times.... So Human!! selfishness is bound to be inborn.

While playing criss cross sometime back, just something crossed my mind, how we cross few in our life with soar thoughts and reactions and after all we dont have to carry anything with us other than love and feelings for others!! Nothing remains the same, we suffer because we beleive things are permanent. When you realize nothing is permanent in this world!! feeling of transformation, you have no enemies, you have no hard feelings, you have no blues :)

All of us are bound to search for the ultimate truth once in our life time, either later or early!!I really enjoyed reading Bhagavat Gita, especially OUR ACTION MUST BE A MODEL TO OTHERS. When we take an action, others must be able to consider it as a model to follow. The people around us are anxiously waiting to imitate us and our children are growing up by imitating us. We should be able to point and show them a few role models and we should also be able to set ourselves as examples.

Feel like Zombie

Body is light
Mind is easy
Soul is floating
Cannot think of anything else other than sleeping :)
Feels like heel is up in the air
Head is digged in the ground
Stomach to my back

How many Types of Husband do you want :)

The Fatherly Hubby!! Old almost father-like husband is favourite amonth young girls who want nothing but muny!! tHERE WILL BE DRAMATIC weight loss, boze-free, coloured hair days. THe idea is to keep him fit until he signs everything to his dear wife :) Like Anna Nicole Smith 26 got married to billionarie Howard marshall 89. SOmetimes money takes over love issues!! NAHHHH

Gay Husband: Just for Name sake. THe fact that he seems to have gay male friends could be hint. The man-on-man sotries are really catching up. His feelings and love are for somone of the same sex!!!! PHEW!!

The SUper-Ugle Rich Husband: Got everything except the looks. He has the ego fo 10 men! he thinks he is god and pays for everyone and everything. Having most beautiful woman by his side , Flashes his multiple credit cards and cherish his wife with most expensive gifts, car, bunglow, diamonds..... When you see this couple in a party, the first things that come to your mind are, how could she!? THis husband is surviving because of his money. TATA

Greedy Husband: Tooooooo lazy to work and earn huge bucks. Easy way to hunt out for multi-millionaire girl irrespective of her looks. He wants expensive car, house, he is not prepared to work hard for them, THis fortune hunting husband is basically charming, lazy guy!!! HUH!!
The Flirty Husband: Though he got beautiful wife next to him, He cant help groping his way through his wife's friends, female co-workers, lady doctors,....basically any female with good looks, he wont miss a chance of dropping or picking them or passing comments like sorry but I cant stop staring at your deep brown eyes!! He is the sort of man that is incapable of being faithful!! No love is true love for him. he can slip for any attractive girl....FREAK

Always Penniless Husband: Starts with thousand promises but all the charm fades away. He is unemployable, sitting at home eating and watching football. His parents thought he will realise his responsiblities after marriage, but no avail His wife takes nearly no maternity leave and seems to be supporting her entire household on her salary alone!! MISERY

The Friendly Husband: Not bad husband but his life is dedicated to his own social advancement. He cares too much about the parties, hanging with friends, night outs, travelling, long drives with his buddies, he is very excited about these things that he won't even mind taking over his wife's social work.. He doesnt beleive in staying home and wants blast every night. SOCIAL MADNESS.

The Almost Perfect Husband: Appears to be dream husband, Hes attentive, caring, loving, polite, well-dresses but always hovering over his wife, interrupting when shes on the phone, checking on the bills, how much shes been eating, drinking, spending, too much to handle. He secretely hates her to have any friends and forbits her from working. Basically shows he is gem of a husband but is a real pain, he looks like a perfect guy but he just aint.... IRRITATINGWHAT KIND OF HUBBY DO YOU WANT!! NOT READY TO WORK FOR THEM, ITS WAY TOO MUCH!!! Labels: Be careful, for all the Ladies
(I borrowed this article from TOI, which is sensible)

Documents Study

Data Sheets are brochures, information brochures on how we do a certain service. For example, how SQA is done in Virtusa. And lists all of the compnaies service offerings. We have it for every service offerings, for every domain and for every client's product offering also

Case study is about a "Case" a real example, where an organization has provided a real service and after that a case study is developed. The case study covers - client's business, situation, the solution, solution diagram, benefits summary

WhitePaper - technical analysis of any technology, solution analysis, situation, domain. Its an idea about how we can do something. That something can be anything, say process related, business related, technology or domain related or even people related. Its a mini story with situation, solution, analysis and conclusion. It basically is an org's asset. You have a business problem before you that is solved, you have a technology update methodology, have a technology process and several other analysis of a given technology/domain/business

White papers differes from company to company. I can write anything I want about SQA. I can say that the Agile development is the best model, while CTS can say water fall model is the best way...so white paper covers ideas, opinion and research

There are only two models: water fall and agile. Water fall starts from requirements gathering>develop>test>deliver and only then release the product or service. While on the other hand, Agile works in "iterations" (remember this word, its important). Do it, deliver it, do it, deliver it...it goes in a phased manner. Develop, test and deliver the modules of product that we have developed

Selfless motives of Divinity!!!

The salty water with humongous power of source.. like producing electricity!! on the large stretch to the endless sight, so called the ocean, Water makes us think of tap water, the small pond or lake, stream, water tank!! Imagine a sea with the endless sight!! !! aah....caught your breath...glimpse of waves...hold your breath for long with cool breeze and cacophony of a huge sea is greeting you gracefully. While the tide hits the shore, and gets back to the abundance power of the source!! when your feet is on move, the waves seems to be enjoying the blast of heavy music and dancing like a queen gracefully, enjoying in its own pace...sometimes quick and short, sometimes long and slow leaving behind the hissing sound..... hhhhhhhhssssssssshhhhhhh!! Tensed bare feet on the soft sand soothens thy by the soft water up on your feet like kissing and tickling your feet by teasing you and smiling away with glory!!


The amazing water seems like dancing rhythmically, waiting for one wave to erupt from the mid of the sea and ends hitting the sea shore, the wind, sun and sky teams up with sea and reciprocates to its feeling by enthusiasm irrespective of animal or human being or millionaire or begger or even GOD himself walk on the shore- Sun shines brighter, wind blows heavily and water splashes enthusiastically!! treating all equally without discrimination of Sex, Age, Caste, Nationality by altruistic manner!!

The sight of the beach is like ocean reaching for the sky!! open air, blue sky, soft sand on the beach side, hushing trees, fizzle tide, lots of castles and frog houses built on beach sand!! like teasing the tide, you cant make it up this far!! SOmetimes when tide gets wild and stretches maximum to be fair in competition!! Sometimes it catches, sometimes it fails!! never give up trying though!!

The Beaches who doesn't love them :)

My Fav Quotes!!

"Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others." - Winston Churchill
Politeness is the art of choosing among your thoughts. -Madame de Stael, writer (1766-1817)

Speech is for the convenience of those who are hard of hearing

Famous Slights - "What's on your mind? If you'll forgive the overstatement." - Fred Allen

Observations - "Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away so knowledge sort of accumulates...." - Dr A. Lawrence Lowell

Observations - "It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them." - Caron de Beaumarchais

A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanged, it is the skin of a living thought and may vary greatly in color and content according to the circumstances and the time in which it is used. -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., jurist (1841-1935)

If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore. -Ralph Waldo Emerson, writer and philosopher (1803-1882)

Daily Quote: "There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking." - - Alfred Korzybski

It is an ironic habit of human beings to run faster when we have lost our way. -Rollo May, psychologist (1909-1994)

For what are stars but asterisks. To point a human life? -Emily Dickinson, poet (1830-1886)

Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone. - Gladys Browyn Stern, writer (1890-1973)

Famous Slights - "What's on your mind? If you'll forgive the overstatement." - Fred Allen

Where is the Destiny?

This was the time during the year 2007, I was shuttling a lot between Chennai to Bangalore, to and fro...I missed Home so almost every weekend one could find me home in Bangalore, so ticket booking was happening lot by train!!! I generally book online from irctc or ask my friends to do it for me, when it doesn’t work sometimes on my PC. I either book Bangalore express, Cauvery Express or another express called CEANI Express, I am sure most of them never heard about his express.......me neither!! I had strange feeling in this express.

Once I had this strange incident in this Ceani Express!! I traveled in this express twice and both time I had weird experience, there was something different in this express, I board and catch up sleep and when I wake up I find myself in PG in Chennai, I don’t seem to remember how did i get back to my PG from the railway station. SO I never wanted to travel, apparently once I asked my friend Daniel to book it for me, I didn’t bother to notice which express he book for me. I grabbed and started towards the entrance, He said something which I couldn’t hear, He said good luck buddy and hurried towards his cabin, I had no time so I rushed took Bangalore express and reached home, had fun time and its the time to go to Chennai again on Sunday night that was August 24th 2007. I opened my ticket in Bangalore railway station; Guess what to my surprise he had booked me for Ceani Express!! Gosh!

This was in Platform no.4 , and I didn’t want to sleep this time, very cautious and reach the platform and find another train already waiting and I figure out its Cauvery express waiting that departs at 11.15, so does Ceani Express, where the hell is the train.. started panicking and looking for the display board and this express never flashed on the display.. very strange and mind started racing, before I thought of asking somebody there, Finally flaunted that Ceani Express at Platform No.5, By gasping hurried to the Platform to the end of the train and my Compartment was S4 and I boarded into it hurriedly since it was exactly 11.15 when i noticed the time!! Apparently I boarded in the last compartment which was S4!! that freaked me a bit got down to confirm, I find myself in the centre of the train, Centre compartment, is It hallucination??? I tried to look around it was dead silent and totally empty!! I hotfooted and found my seat that was 74 and it was Side upper birth and found all were sleeping;

I wanted to strike conversation with somebody!! There were none! I gave an audacious attempt to wake up lady who was sleeping on lower birth; I tried to touch her arms in order to talk to her, my hand thrust down on to the seat!! went through her and that freaked me, I delved to look around and next moment I started running towards the door and kept on running and running for 10 min, couldn’t figure out where the door was, when I stopped I found myself in an empty compartment, totally empty no seats no crowd, the color inside was all painted in red and white floor well and very well maintained. I looked out of the window which was really strange in the shape, it was Oval not square and damn it! It’s moving like jet, I couldn’t see anything; it was like empty space no trees or no sky outside!!! After couple of minutes I could feel the train slowed down and reached a station. I found a guy up from nowhere approached my window, which opened automatically and he stretched tea cup for me and vanished quickly, I tried to figure out the station name, and got shocked to see the name as "VENODA" which was laminated in Red flashy color, in an expensive giant frame. This station, I saw most of the men in white shirt with oval shaped embedded like embroidery, it actually reads CEANI in stylish font and black trousers with Red caps covering their faces!! I sniffed and found the men near the window, he looked up and smiling at me!! I asked him which station is this. Where is the door?? He frowned for a moment and muttered something and said, just run out of this place and felled into the ground by making thud of sound!!

Train started moving, no engine sound!! Sometimes there were hushed voices, which was not clear!! It was dead silent!! Train started moving again, and I was on my feet and started running to my left!! and saw body moving towards me, which was in white shirt and white trouser with red cap as usual!! I asked him I wanted to get down!! He could read my tensed face with bit of sweat, He looked like young falcon with slender leg, luminous forehead with eye of kind and spoke in sweet voice, Lady show me your ticket!! when i handed him, he studied it carefully and sometimes looking into my eyes! He finally said oh Daniel booked it!! He said follow me and dont try to look around!! that erupted curiosity in me and starting looking around in the edge of my eyes and found huge compartment to the left side with Bed embedded with delicate silk with embroidery bedspread and curtains, with private Fridge, Table and Chairs, totally decorated and few were eating from the floating plates, I could hear some strange noises, totally different language, few of them looked like angel!! They were bowing while he was crossing their compartments, I tried to peep out of the window and saw the station which was in Green this time named "GREENVILLE".

The TC stopped and turned with smile, He asked me to sit on the chair, which was totally empty place with lots of chairs and a fridge. He walked towards the fridge and handed me cup of grape juice. I asked him tell me where am I what are these station names Venoda and Greenville!! He smiled and said I cannot tell you anything except Venoda is the place for angry men and Greenville is the place for jealous. I looked into his deep greengray transcend eyes which was so deep and firm in looks!! and observing his shape of the lips which were moving while he was talking, He said remember onething " Om is the bow, arrow is the soul... men is the arrows target" this is the last word I heard. Lots of noises woke me up and I found myself sitting on the bench in Chennai central staion!! and looked around and realized was it dream!?? and could taste the grape juice in my mouth!! which tasted really good!!

I Went to PG and could not sleep, rushed to office looking for Daniel and found out from his co-worker that he left the organisation one month back and he relocated to Kerala and no news from him!! I tried to dig up for the tickets I travelled and couldnt locate them! I dont know what to conclude this!! Its not dream though. I can see the TC when I close my eyesThis was my experience and not sure what to say!!

what is your attitude

Tell me one thing!! what do you talk about ones mind set!! you own it or owe it!??

Attitude is the state of mind, how do you say about ones attitude, man he got attitude problem!!
If one does not have any attitude problem, how can they relate things? Why do they call others a big Attitude!?? I do not understand this concept of attitude!! like i hear few say, mujhe attitude dekha rahe hoo??

Sometime, people might act without their knowledge, and many of them misinterpret, why dont they see the things as it is! what is the need of putting your thoughts or manipulating or concluding!!? Isntd its the ones mind set, that makes you think or blocks you from seeing the wat it is!! is it complex??? It depends on how one conceive it!!

Its so simple, keep it simple....its good to comprehend the situation and be in ones own thought, the way you think you perceive it!! Everyone had been bitching and whining about some issues, but we bitch and whine about everything around here, so be it!

Poems to recite

Its long way to travel!!

Long way to go and have been travelling for long

The destiny is a miles away deep in the woods yet to cover the distance across the ocean on the mellow side!!

Feel like wind is agitated with heavy blow apparently started feeling heavy and the movement is tossed out

Feeling exhausted with no energy to move back or forth, Long way to travel long distance to cover

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Im like a birdI have beautiful wings

i will only fly highup above the skywhy not get missed in the mist

when i have my rainbow heart Sparkling like diamond shield!!!

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Life is battle beat it

Jungle is hurdle pass it

Love is Just a feeling gain it

Enjoy and be what you are

Live happily all phases of life.

There are lots of hurdles in life never give up

Give your best short every time....Its worth fighting than to give up.

Wedding or get togethers!!

Why do the mom;s force to take us to ceremony/functions!! Its been really lousy day from the Morning and I have strange feeling, really heavy. Its nice weather outise, though I would prefer to stay at home....trying to blog and working on the documents.

Certainly, attending any functions, marriage or ceremony is the least once can do!! First and foremost is getting dressed to the occassion, totally different outfits which will make you the most uncomfortable, stilll you have no choice!! Getting dressed and reaching the venue, there starts the entire thread! Generally you tend to hear lot of noises in gatherings, You hardly know anybody....its like sound pollutions...ears are damaged....totally numb....their lips are moving with their reciprocatory actions, you cant figure out what they are talking or , unless yes, you are actively involved !! Otherwise the people who you know are all busy in organising stuff and getting involved with their own family!!

YOu will find all women with heavy gold ornaments (show bizness) exchanging the looks and whats the latest necklace or bangles, they bought recently. Few women boasting /gossiping about their son or daughters that they are engineers very busy with work, earn lots of money but no time or bon voyage,or settled in US, rest of the women with certain expression in their face like avoiding jealousy look and trying to boast their part of life! wearing heavy sarees, even though they cannot carry themselves with those heavy saree and jewels (you bet) they would try to balance pretty well, instead of falling apart :) They tend to pick up gossip about someones daughter or son , that they elloped or inter case wedding!! blah blah blah!!!

Other sets are Lots of grand mothers and grand fathers, I dont seem to understand they can hear or talk or walk, still they want to make it to the functions (god knows for what) waiting to have food for the very first batch:) trying to compete or waiting near the food hall eagerly for the function to get over and get going!! Or looking at grown ups oh you are their daughter!! when i saw you last time you were soo tiny :)

Other set of men!! who would gather to play cards, smoke, lickers and share their own thoughts or boasting about their sons/daughters as how they are sending money from US $$. Dollared eyes!! pouncing like basket ball off and on to the basket, when sometimes they miss the short!! and hear others calls BINGO. They will be served with coffee or juices and keep those cooks busy around them!! while they chat/gossip while smoking and drinking!! thats how they celebrate in those functions!!

BUnch of kids!! Who adds to the sound pollution with their dirty voice by shouting or screaming or running in the hallway!! who will be playing around with baloon or pulling their mom's saree, cribbing about something or the other!! Glory away others to Headache!! so you call FUNCTION! Who wants to attend them!!!